The Journey of Personal Development.
The Journey of You
The purpose of psychology is to help humans to be courageous.
~ Albert Adler
I love this quote. It encapsulates for me why my heart has belonged to the profession of psychology for more than two decades. Humans have to be courageous. Life is difficult, risky, dangerous and uncertain. And we are not talking about the lives of extraordinary people, but the lives of ordinary people. Growing up, making their way in the world, creating, working, raising families, living and dying.
The most courageous among us, do this from a place of authenticity. Reflecting on who they are, what is important to them, how they can live in harmony with others, create more than they destroy, nourish their bodies and souls, contribute to the wellbeing of others, and leave the planet one day, with few regrets and a pocketful of joyous stories.
So how do these courageous folk, those wholehearted, ordinary heroes among us find their way?
It is my sincere belief, their secret lies in self-knowledge, self-acceptance and self-compassion, the themes central to my book The Journey of You. They were prepared to journey into their personal history and identity, to uncover their sense of purpose and belonging, in order to see themselves as they truly are. And that is an act of courage.
They understand themselves deeply. They are certain in what they believe, but open to growth. They know how to turn their dreams and visions into reality through action. They value-add to the lives of others.
The life-changing aspect of this reflection is, that this is a path everyone has the opportunity to find for themselves. You have everything you need to make this your reality. What you may not have had to date, was a map, a compass or a guide to get you started on this journey.
The journey into your own inner world, can be filled with anguish, doubt, fear, pain, suffering, yearning, disappointment and confusion – but also love, adventure, unrecognised potential, resilience, joy and hope.
When I was just 15 years old, I travelled on a scholarship with World Vision to Kenya. The purpose of this trip was to see the work that was being done and to share those experiences with other young Australians upon my return. This was indeed a hero’s journey. I was given a mentor, and I met many friends and allies along the way. And as anticipated the journey wasn’t easy. We confronted challenges and physical threats to our safety. We saw pain, suffering, famine and death. We were held up at gunpoint and saw a man beaten to death. But we also saw hope, compassion, strength, ingenuity, gratitude and joy. That was not what I expected. We returned home changed. But at that young age it was impossible to integrate this experience with the known world I had been raised in, a small rural town in country Tasmania. The cavern between these two worlds seemed too vast and I found it difficult to reconcile any greater meaning. But I was sure I was supposed to derive one from that experience. I felt overwhelming gratitude to have been given the experience, yet conflicted because I felt helpless. That the suffering in the world seemed too great and I didn’t feel equipped to help. And I was not convinced anyone had the answer.
Yet I understood back then, even as an adolescent, I had found something important. In the years since then, I have slowly integrated this journey and many others, into my own personal narrative about who I am and what I can contribute. I have a more authentic understanding of myself, of other people and the world around me. I have ascribed meaning to that early formative adventure, and it has continued to shape the paths I have taken since.
I tell you this story not to impress you, but to impress upon you, that we all have a story to tell. Many stories in fact. And the story of your own journey through life is in progress. The next chapters are yet to be written and the ones passed, can be edited and revised as much as you desire. You just need that little bit of courage to get started.
Personal development is about navigating the challenges of life. It’s about meeting struggle and adversity. Let’s face it, life can be brutal. We have to be honest about that.
I’m a psychologist and I have worked the last 20 years in some really eye-opening places – charities, hospitals, prisons, the military, government agencies and in private practice – and I’ve worked now with thousands of people, all in the depths of life challenges. They are tested physically, emotionally, morally, ethically, spiritually, and it’s harsh. And the reality is, some don’t make it through. We have to be clear about that. Of all the people who are out there in the world, for some life is unbearable. And the tragedy is they are casualties, not of war, but of life.
What happens to those who come out the other side – the 95% who do? Whether they’ve experienced a physical or mental illness, a relationship breakdown, job loss, the death of a loved one, a traumatic event, a natural disaster, infertility, terminal illness, poverty, addiction, an act of violence or something else, those who survive physically and emotionally carry the scars of their battles. But importantly, they also carry within them the spoils of a personal victory. You see, we are born wired for struggle, but also for growth. Overcoming challenges so that we may flourish – I think that’s what life is really all about.
And at its core, that’s what my book is about. Understanding who you are, understanding your struggles and what it will take for you to navigate them and have a rich, full and meaningful life.
When I sit with people for therapy or for coaching and we start work, they often have similar questions. How can I be a better leader? A better parent? Better partner? How do I find happiness? How do I succeed at my job? How do I get through this? How can I find the strength to keep going? And no matter who they are and no matter what the challenge is, the journey to discover the answer always begins with self-awareness.
The first step towards self-awareness is to become attuned with who you are – what’s important in your life, what drives you, what do you value and why do you interpret the world and your experiences the way you do?
Because, to answer any of those big complex life questions you must first understand who you are and what you believe. You must travel into the depths of your own psychology. To discover what makes you – you. Then you are ready. Then you can take action. Then you can face your challenges.
If you’d like to explore your own personal journey and review your own path to a rich, full and meaningful life then you can get your copy of The Journey of You using the tab on this website.